Share to Facebook
Share to Twitter
Share to Linkedin
As you evolve from the person you once were to the person you want to be, you cannot take everything with you. A necessary stage of progression is letting go of old possessions, beliefs and ties. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. This is a vital stage in your growth. You are unwrapping layers of baggage as the real you emerges.
Let go of the five things holding back your success
Here are the five things to let go of, that might be holding back your success:
Every time you felt wronged or that you were a victim was a chance for you to become stronger. So let it go. Let go of everyone who was unkind or didn’t consider your needs. Stop revisiting the stories and remove them from your headspace and life. Fill the space with happy conversations instead.
Some people think of doubters and haters when striving to do better, but the healthiest state is indifference. Where you can wish them well because you really don’t care. They don’t enter your mind and there’s no backstory to tell. If someone else mentions them, you smile and nod along. There’s no past, there’s no bad blood, there’s no narrative around any encounter that needs mentioning now.
Reach the stage where you are so confident with your life and your path that you wish everyone well, no matter how much trauma they may have once caused you.
Principles of the past
I must not fail. I must be respected. I must not be hard done by. I must be compensated for my time. Which principles are serving your future, and which are just holding you back?
Consider a joint venture that didn’t work out. Your principles say you must recoup everything you can, which should be at least what the other founders get. It was their fault it didn’t work out and you can’t stand the thought of them earning a penny more from it than you. But that viewpoint is unlikely to serve the best version of you. It might be far better for you to walk away, leaving them with everything and wishing them well. But will you refuse, “on principle”?
The best version of you is prepared to forgo your principles in favour of doing the right thing and moving forward. Even if you’ve sunk big bucks, even if you’ve poured your heart and soul into something. If you keep falling back on outdated principles, you’ll keep holding onto projects and people and places that you should just let go of. What beliefs are you living by that you haven’t questioned?
You’ve only been hard done by if you tell yourself you have been. It’s only failure if you learn nothing. You could drag it out on principle, or you could skip away happily.
Behavioural habits are strongest when they are linked to your identity. You’re more likely to go to the gym every day if you identify as a health-conscious person than if you just think you should or because your doctor said you really ought to. Identity drives action.
Which identities are you holding that aren’t serving your future? Do you believe so strongly in veganism that you alienate those who don’t? Do you identify so strongly as Republican or Democrat that you’ll defend whoever is leading the party at any time? Being led only by identity is a form of tunnel vision. It impairs your ability to make great decisions because you are influenced by what someone like you “should” do. It can close your mind to new ideas and opportunities.
Fixating on identity can be limiting to growth. Seek changes of perspective to learn and adapt for the better.
Let go of the five things holding back your success
Ego and self-importance
How often does self-importance set you back? Whether it’s athletes who ensure anyone they meet knows their personal bests, or the business owner who wants everyone to know he started from nothing; self-importance is not endearing. Staying humble is the goal.
It doesn’t matter what awards you have won or titles you have amassed, or your career longevity or number of YouTube subscribers. Let go of the need for someone to know how much of a big deal you are. It’s not important. Instead, connect on a personal level. If someone wants to know your credentials, they will ask. Or google you. Let them find out from someone else, don’t tell them in your opener. Resist the urge for instant gratification. Release the need for others to know your prominence.
Let your amazing personality and your winning conversation be what connects you to others because everything else is secondary.
Happiness is proportionate to the difference between your expectations and your reality. If you expect amazing things and get average ones; you won’t be happy. Having high standards is fine unless it’s limiting your happiness when it turns out they are unreachable. You can have just as good a time at a fried chicken stand as you can at a Michelin star restaurant, as long as you don’t expect the same from both evenings.
Let go of having inflated expectations for things you cannot control. Experiences, results, other people. Release judgment whenever you can; let things just be. Retain high expectations of yourself and the energy you put into your work and health and friendships. You can meet your own expectations through commitment and intention.
Be proud to be laid back or a perfectionist when each is appropriate.
In order for the real you to be uncovered, the old you must drift away. Identify those things that are linked with the person you once were and not the person you dream of becoming. Let them go with gratitude and ease.